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Titled “The Purple Retirement,” a play on The Purple Wedding from the HBO show, Bryant is showered with gifts. Here’s the full video:
The gifts, to recap:
• The Sixers — Jahlil Okafor and Nerlens Noel looking ragtag as heck — give Kobe an autographed Lower Merion jersey, which is a thing that actually happened.
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• Dwight Howard gives his ex-teammate a stuffed Clutch the Bear memento, with candy smears. Kobe then proceeds to call the bear soft, like Dwight. This is not something that happened, to our knowledge.
• Hugo the Hornet pulls up with a covered carriage. But Frank Kaminsky pops his head out to inform Kobe that “His Airness” Michael Jordan could not attend the celebration. “He has a message for you.” This also is a thing that happened.
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• Shaquille O’Neal gives Kobe a donkey and instructs him to cook and eat it. The reason? He wants to know what Kobe thinks about how his ass tastes, which is a thing he has asked in the past.
The ending sendoff — a non-passing of the torch — is clever, and this is another entertaining and creative piece of an entertaining and creative series.
